4 Steps To Overcome Fear and Jump Anyway

As 2020 begins to move into its final stretch (insert cheers and jumps for joy here), many of us are contemplating what’s next (insert deep breaths, a big gulp and nail biting here). What could 2021 look like for us? Perhaps some big ideas involving personal transformation, or professional shifts, are on our horizons.

As for me, I’m anticipating the launch of my new online coaching program, the Pave Challenge, and this comes with a mixture of everything from internal cheers, to big gulps and nail biting – all at the same time : ). If you’re like me and you’re considering big shift in your personal or professional life, then you might be contemplating, “what if I actually take those steps towards making things happen?” And, just as our ideas begin to present themselves as possible realities, something else may happen, too. Our stomachs might suddenly start to drop from nervousness and fear. At this point, we could find ourselves abandoning our ideas altogether, only to store them in that mental compartment called “wishful thinking.” And, if we’re honest with ourselves, this wouldn’t be the first time. The outcome? Fear wins.

Regeneration in a Changing World: How the breakdown of old systems can lead to better lives.

A little over a year ago, I was hiking my favorite trail in the mountains with our two young boys and our great family friends in one of Colorado’s national forests – it had literally burned to the ground the year before. I remember how awe-struck I was by the burnt landscape’s polarizing beauty. The bright bold colors of scattered wildflowers burst like fireworks amidst their charcoal black surroundings. Even more stunning than the scenery itself was the site of our four small children, laughing and playing amidst the charred trees – the makeup of an inaccessible space, only one year prior.

As I snapped a photo, which is now the header image to this article, I couldn’t help but notice its poetic symbolism. The word “regeneration” instantly came to my mind, as I looked down to view the visual – “hmm” I thought, “isn’t this one of life’s simple truths?”

Finding Our Purpose Within Challenge

We’ve all heard it before – “follow your passion,” and “your values will guide you towards your purpose.” This guidance works really well when life’s circumstances are optimal, or at minimum, functional. You know, the times in life when our outlook is constructive, our actions feel effortless, and most things are humming along pretty easily. These are the ideal times in life when we feel the strongest, most capable and creative – when finding areas of passion and connecting with values not only makes sense – it can be fun!

There are also those other times; you know the ones – the inevitable tougher times. These periods stimulate a more critical outlook, when our actions feel restrained or forced, and we generally feel less capable of connecting with ideals and possibilities. In fact, we may not even believe they exist. Most of us would rather pledge immunity to these times – we certainly aren’t broadcasting about them on our social media channels. Yet, all of us are familiar with the ups and downs of joy and pain, and we often ride these currents the most during periods of career or life transition.

When You Appreciate The Good, The Good Appreciates:

I’ve noticed something really interesting over the last several months. It has to do with the energy, time and motivation I have for people who are appreciative. Now, while this may sound like an extremely obvious idea, which perhaps has taken me forty years too long to grasp, I’ve also noticed that many of us have a tendency to place far too much attention on people and activities that just don’t appreciate.

Note the duel meaning here; by appreciation, I’m talking about both an expression of recognition and gratitude, as well as an increase in value. As founder of the Happiness Studies Academy, former Harvard Professor in Positive Psychology and author of the book Happier, Tal Ben Shahar states, “when you appreciate the good, the good appreciates.”

So, what does it mean to “appreciate the good”? Is it as simple as passively taking note of the things that make us grateful, and perhaps even stating them out loud, and writing them down for ourselves? Or, could more be done in the form of appreciation? Is it possible that more of the finer things in life could appreciate, like love, deep friendships, rich conversation, success, wealth and overall life satisfaction, if we took more time to actively express our appreciation of others?

Coaches, Let's Not Confuse Humility with Timidity

Since a young age, many of us have been taught the virtue of humility -- and by learning to maintain it, we’ve probably experienced a lot of benefits. For starters, when we keep a modest view of ourselves, we tend to be more open to learning from the world around us. To a large extent, any effective personal development system relies heavily on humility for honest self-reflection. Yet, so many of us tend to confuse humility with timidity, which seems altogether different.

While humility keeps us humble enough to grasp new life lessons and opportunities, timidity might cause us to hold back due to lack of confidence. In the New York Times bestselling book, The Book of Joy, written by Douglas Abrams, based on his interviews with his holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Archbishop Tutu clarifies the difference between humility and timidity, “Humility allows us to celebrate the gifts of others, but it does not mean you have to deny your own gifts or shrink from using them.”

Nina CashmanSeptember 19, 2018Comment

Why Bother To 'Fake It' When You Can Actually Just 'Make It?

Fake it ‘til you make it: an old adage, which, in my opinion, is incredibly overused and all too often misunderstood.

While the saying is described by Wikipedia as, “an aphorism which suggests that by imitating confidence, competence, and an optimistic mindset, a person can realize those qualities in their real life,” it seems as though the concept fails to fully consider one critical precursor, namely, the very question it begs: How is one supposed to genuinely acquire confidence, competence and an optimistic mindset in the first place?

I’m talking about authentic confidence -- competence and optimism that drives purposeful actions and meaning. This sort of authenticity is not easily replaced with disingenuous behavior. After all, what is so terrible about transparently accepting where we are with full ownership while working toward becoming something better? The more honest we are about ourselves and where we are developmentally, the more we stand to receive opportunities that will help us progress further from where we are.

So, fake it until you make it? Who needs it when we can, instead, work towards a mindset of just "make it, so you never have to fake it?" Here are a few pointers to help us do just that:

4 Tips To Cultivate More Patience in an Impatient World

Are you overly critical of yourself when you don’t see your goals develop quickly enough? Join the club. Even though we all innately understand that our biggest dreams will require a lot of time and energy to fully manifest, most of us get a little impatient when we don’t see instantaneous results.

We all know that immediate results aren’t typically part of the “let’s try something new” equation. Yet, we live in a world where we can order just about anything with the simple click of a button, only to find it on our doorsteps the very next morning. Most of us are incredibly impatient, and why wouldn’t we be? Waiting is not a common component of our everyday lives.

So often, impatience leads to giving-up and completely abandoning our goals, only to feel skeptical about the very dreams and aspirations that used to inspire us. So, who couldn’t use a little inspiration to stay-the-course with our biggest goals from time-to-time? Here are a few tips to do just that.

Know The Difference Between Busyness and Business

As I’ve wrestled my busiest self for all of these years, a few things have become abundantly clear. For starters, there’s a lot more to my “busyness” than all of the tasks, projects, accomplishments, social engagements, and activities I take on. Behind all of these things is actually a deep-rooted neediness to be recognized because of a much darker state of being – one that haunts me at my core.

For most of my life, I’ve stretched, flexed and adjusted my schedule to accommodate just about anything that seemed mildly “important,” just to numb-out a stinging voice underneath it all, which actually says, “I’m not very important.” And, what better way to discount this voice than to prove it wrong with everything I do?

As I’ve grown to own and understand this state affairs, I’ve also come to recognize a vast difference between my busyness, versus tending to important business. While the former keeps our need to feel important pacified with lots of distraction and noise, the latter is a disciplined choice to stay hyper-focused on what really matters. And, to know what’s really important, we have to get to know ourselves at a level far beyond what we do. As the late and great Wayne Dyer said, “I am a human being, not a human doing.”

Gratitude: Make It Your Number One Goal

I don’t think there’s a person reading this who couldn’t benefit from adding this goal to the very top of her/his 2018 Goals List: GOAL # 1: Double down on gratitude.

Think of how often we tend to set goals on the basis of escaping our current reality. We naturally deduce that “if x happens, then we will surely achieve happiness.” Yet, much like a large bonfire cannot burn without a spark, we cannot achieve happiness without first acknowledging its existence within the present moment.

In other words, energy attracts like energy, so in order to find momentum and motivation to take action towards the things we want, we will want to figure-out how to experience the feelings we want, right now, without allowing another minute to slip away from us. Here’s where gratitude offers the best starting point.

There's More To Life Than "Being Visible"

In today’s wired world, there is a lot of pressure, if not a blatant fixation on the concept of “being visible.” In fact, many of us may even question whether our experiences and opinions hold any value at all unless we are posting about them all over our social media platforms.

And, while it makes perfect sense that we’d want to share the greatest aspects of ourselves with the rest of the world, there’s also a great power in allowing ourselves to “be invisible” at times; yet, this concept seems severely underrated these days.

In a world where many business experts and leaders constantly tell us to, “go ahead, put yourself out there and be visible,” we may start to question if we are trying hard enough, or even at all, if we’re not courageously charging our social media accounts and posting our thoughts, photos and videos at all hours of the day.

And, while many of us have genuine desires to share our successes, celebrate our lives, and keep our friends, family, and colleagues in the loop, there is a yin to every yang. In other words, there can be too much of anything – and, yes, this even includes “visibility.”

How Do You ‘Transcend Your Ego’ When You Are Surrounded By Big Egos?

Ego. The three-letter word that just about every spiritual practice or personal development system tells us to try and let-go of and transcend.

Often associated with traits like arrogance, conceit, competitiveness, condescension, and judgment, these attributes typically mask a person’s low self-esteem or the smallest version of themselves.

Let’s face it, few people would describe someone with a big ego as pleasant, and few people who exhibit these traits seem happy, so it’s a wonder why so many big egos exist at all. Yet, they do – all around us.

So, how on earth are we supposed to transcend our own egos, when big egos surround us everywhere? They prance around us at work, within our communities, all over social media, and even within our own governments and families.

How are we supposed to ‘keep up’ without building a big ego of our own?

How To Trust Your Intuition

Have you ever noticed how easy it is for us to discern what we would do in another person’s shoes, yet at the very same time, struggle with a decision of our own? Why is it so easy to see things with complete clarity when it comes to a situation outside of ourselves, and in the same moment, feel foggy about a situation presented within our own lives?

Whether dealing with a big decision related to a career, or contemplating what to do within a particular relationship, knowing what’s best can get tough when personal feelings cloud our perspectives.

Let’s face it, we simply don’t have the same emotional attachment to other peoples’ choices or dilemmas as we do to our own. So, the easiest way to get past the haze of our own emotions, especially when it comes to major decisions, is to tap into the wisest part of ourselves -- our intuition.

So, how do we establish a strong connection with our intuition? Here are some helpful tips for accessing it:

Nina CashmanJuly 5, 2017#Intuition, #Trustingyourself, #paveyourway, #intuitiveconnectionComment